What can I
do about my fears---those fears that come in many different shapes and forms,
creeping into the mind causing a paralysis of body, mind, and soul? Some of those fears grow from worry and
anxiety, yet others originated from various traumatic events that have taken
place throughout my lifetime. At times
the force of fear has been so great in my life that it became a totally
controlling influence, limiting my productivity. To combat this controlling fear, I have been
learning, throughout the years, how to attack my fears; if I do the thing I
fear, the death of fear is certain.
From the cradle to the grave, we will face
many kinds of fears. People have
differing types of personalities which will cause some to the more susceptible
to fear that others. I admire those who
can stand before a crowd of people they do not even know and speak without
trembling. Have they learned to overcome
their fear, or were the born with an outgoing, confident personality? I am a shy person, so I have had to learn how
to overcome my fear of strangers, crowds, and rejection. I have the faith that one of these days; I
will be able to speak with confidence and boldness before a group of people. I base this faith on God’s promise: “Be
strong and courageous. Do not be afraid
or terrified because of them for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never
leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6.
With God’s help I will be able to overcome the butterflies in my
stomach, the nervousness in my voice, and the trembling of the hands as I speak
before a crowd.
As I am dealing with this blindness thing,
I am slowly building up my self-confidence.
Confidence in oneself can overcome fear with prayer. I try not to think of losing sight as a
disability. I can compare myself to a
turtle and his shell. When I was inside
my shell (house), I was protected and safe from the fear of failure, but I was
not going anywhere or attempting new things.
I was selfish in being unwilling to go out. I would gradually stick my head out of my
shell a little at a time, venturing out to try new and old things and facing
the things that I feared. At times I
still find myself stuck inside my shell.
Someone usually comes around with a dose of encouragement, building up
my self-confidence and allowing me to come out of my shell. When I stick my neck out of my shell, I feel
a sense of accomplishment. “Hi, world:
You are not as bad as I feared.”
Easton and Katelyn were the first to give
me the encouragement that I needed. When
I first lost my sight, I did not want to go out to new places and deal with
crowds. We all went to a dog rescue
event in Lincoln. I did not want to go.
I was so safe in my shell. Fear overtook me, with unfounded thoughts
like I will get lost, I will bump into people.
I used the white cane back then, but held Katelyn’s hand, so I would not
get lost. I had a good time and could
travel using the cane, and I did not get lost.
When we got home, I got encouragement from Katelyn and Easton, “Grandma
I am so proud of you”, and “You did a good job.” Later that day Easton said. “Grandma
you are not sick anymore.” Yes, I can get out of my shell (house) and try
new/old things slowly overcoming new fears that I needed to deal with.
I now am getting out more without my seeing-eye
husband. I do use prayer for safety as I
cross streets, or head into a store. I
have been lost a few times, sometimes I can figure it out or when I can’t; I
have learned that it is ok to ask for help when lost. That builds my self-confidence up. A couple of weeks ago I walked to Walgreens
twice that day, and was really proud that I did it. Wow the little things in life. I am less fearful of walking in the dark, but
only a little bit. Still have a long
ways to go with that fear. Going to the zoo helped to work on this fear. Those buildings are really dark and crowded,
but I did it. I did not get lost at the
zoo, but Easton did. We did find him
after awhile and prayer. I love it when
Pat is working. You are thinking, of
course he is making money. That is part
of it, but back in the past (26 months ago) I was so fearful of being home
alone. Now I enjoy the independence, and
the fact that I have overcome that fear.
Traveling was another stupid fear.
I did not want to go on our first trip.
I did and it was great making memories with the grandkids. Julie helped in overcoming that fear. She was a great help helping her dad not get
us lost, as we traveled in major cities such as Washington DC. Katelyn helped by holding my hand as we crossed
streets or parking lots as we traveled the streets of Washington DC or found a
woman’s restroom.
When allowed, worry and anxiety can lead
to fear. Pat tells me all the time to
stop worrying. If one consistently
worries about things, worry can become a fearful habit, causing unnecessary
health problems. I do not want to get
into a habit of worry. I want to keep my
health that is, what is left of it. When
I find that my thoughts are full of worry and negativity, I try to replace the
negative with positive thoughts of faith and God’s Word. Thinking positive, “Yes, I can,” thoughts can
allow me a victory over worry, anxiety, and fear. More that 75% of all the things we worry
about will not even come to pass. I just
made up that percentage. The truth is I was too lazy to look it up. This is not a school paper and I am not
getting a grade. I did write a college
paper on Fear back in the day and maybe even gave a speech on it. I do not need to waste my time worrying about
things that will not happen, crippling my thought pattern.
What are the roots of fear? We pick up much of our fear in childhood or
past. In our younger years, we develop
normal protective fear, an element of sensible caution, such as with fire. If allowed, some normal childhood fears can
easily become abnormal adult fears. When
I think of some of the fears that I have, I realize their roots were planted
years ago in childhood. You know those
fears, doctors with needles, dentists with drills, spiders, snakes, amusement
rides, and big black dogs.
Traumatic events in one’s life can leave
deep scars of fear. The origin of my
fear of huge, dark-colored dogs comes from having been attacked by a huge,
black, vicious dog while on the way to grade school. He did not bite me, but would not get off my
back while I walked to school with his paws on my shoulders. Now that I am older I have to laugh about
this. He might have been ___me? Or maybe he was trying to get my thin mints
that I had hidden in my pocket. My fear
of scary amusement rides like the tea cups at Disney World, stem from my
daughters spinning the tea cup so fast that I later vomited my expensive hot
dog lunch. My fear of swimming in water
over my head may have come from having nearly drowned as a child. I don’t really remember that anymore, but I
still do not like deep water. Once I
slipped on ice which resulted in a broken leg back in 6th grade,
which left me with a fear and respect for ice. I need to stop now. I could share about fear/concern/or healthy
respect of storms, tornadoes, blizzards, all from events in my past. Yes, I was caught in the big ones back in the
70’s. Think it was 74 and 75 but too
lazy to look up those facts. If you are
my age and lived in Omaha during those years you probably also have a healthy
respect for tornadoes and blizzards.
Uncertainty concerning the future is an
overwhelming fear for countless people.
This type of fear is a combination of fear of the unknown and fear of
what life has to offer. Children fear
divorce as they listen to their parents arguing. Adults worry about money and the uncertainty
of their jobs. Senior citizens are
fearful of being unable to afford the luxury of staying alive. People fear sickness, disease, and pain. Some people fear life and seek to end it
through suicide; yet others fear death.
Why is there this universal fear of death?
Is it a fear of the unknown? Multitudes
of people, those who believe in life after death, do not know whether they will
spend eternity among the indescribable glories of heaven or in the frightful
horrors of hell/lake of fire. Yes, these are real places for those who do not
believe there is a hell. I just read
someone’s comment on Face book saying that a lady who killed her many babies
can’t go to hell because there is no hell. Someone commented that she will go to hell for
what she did. Yes she is a sinner, but we
have all sinned. Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory
of God.”
The early part of my life I had no
assurance of where I was going to spend eternity. I was a good person, so probably I would be
destined to heaven. Back in 1975 I read
what the Bible said about life after death. It was nothing that I could earn by
being that good person. When I was a young
adult, I helped an old lady across the snow and ice at church, while thinking
to myself that ought to get me some heaven points. I even walked to church in a blizzard that day,
to go to mass, for some more points. I
overcame this fear of uncertainty concerning my future after death. This came about when I fully believed and
accepted the whole plan of God’s creation and redemption for mankind. His plan was so easy and simple; if we
believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins and rose again, we
would spend eternity in heaven and not hell.
John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only
Son, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.” Ephesians 2:8,9 “For by grace you have been saved through
faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of
works, that no one should boast.” I was
a sinner saved by grace through faith.
My good works points, my infant baptism; my church was not going to save
me from the lake of fire/hell.
I am gradually learning about what I can
do with my fears, those many different fears that are stored deep into my
subconscious. When I allow those fears
to surface, they cause a paralysis of my mind, body, and soul. Fear can become a controlling influence in my
life, limiting my productivity.
Replacing doses of fear of failure with a huge dosage of self-confidence
and prayer is the greatest medicine that I can ask for. Realizing my fears and the origin of those
fears allows me to attack fear by doing the thing I fear. This causes the death of fear, a victory for
life.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in
everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be
made known to God.” Philippians 4:6
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but
of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7
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