Family and friends you are probably thinking that my first blog of the New Year would be about the resolutions that I plan on making during 2014? You know the ones that everyone and their brother make: I am going to lose weight and look great, eat healthy, work out, quit smoking, drink more water, and my favorite one that I heard yesterday-no trips to the ER ... I also could have written about the top 10 highlights from 2013. But no, I have been thinking about the following subject.
Why is it so hard to ask for help? I have always had that difficulty, but these past two years I have been struggling in that area. Just this afternoon while I was broiling a rib eye steak for me and a thick cut T Bone for Pat to eat during the NE game, my oven mitt caught fire. No chili dogs at our house for New Years Day. As I was putting out the fire, Pat asks, "Why did you not ask for help?" I gave him my daily answer, "I want to be INDEPENDENT!" There is something innate in our DNA that makes the most of us to want to be independent. Yes, I realize that a few of us, just want to live off the government and collect that check and food stamps because it is easier that being independent and working at a job. As parents we raise our children to be independent. We do get tired of feeding and changing them, so we teach them how to be independent. They are fast learners. I spent my career teaching my students to be independent. I also educated their parents to please let them be independent. Stop making their lunches, but Mrs. McQuinn we are in a hurry in the morning, and it takes him so long. Try problem solving; try making his lunch before bed. Let him do his own laundry. Parent response, "I tried that once, but his laundry came out pink." We do learn from our mistakes, so let him try again. Help them get a job, but that will affect their social security I would hear. That is ok I would say, think about this money as a scholarship to help until they get a paid job. You are not always going to be around and you DO want them to be independent. This was when I was teaching young adults 18-21.
I refuse to be disabled. Even though the Federal Government pays me a Social Security check each month and this started before I turned that SS age because I am legally blind. I had planned on working to an old age and come to school with my cane, like my role model Wilma Weigel. I would still be driving but very slowly, and having troubles parking in my 80's. Ok, Pat I had those problems when I was in my 50's.
Since things have changed, I do need to ask for help every once in a while. But it is so hard. I even attended a session called Asking for Help at a conference for the blind. That is the hardest thing for newly blind people to do. I remember the speaker asking, "Before you were blind, when people asked you to give them a ride, did you give them a ride?" I thought to myself, yes I did many times. I even gave one of my parents who is blind a ride home after a meeting. She did not want me to and was going to take a taxi cab, but I kept pressing the issue. The speaker then asked, "How did that make you feel helping others? So don't fear asking others for help."
Yes, I am slowly learning to ask for help. I even asked a neighbor that I did not know if he could open a can of olives for me. Pat was gone and I had worked on that darn can for 10+minutes. I have learned to ask friends for rides to church when Pat or Julie could not take me. Pat got mad at me for walking home from church one day because I would not ask for a ride. It was only a few miles and I did have to cross some busy streets, walk in the road due to no sidewalks along that road, and then it started pouring rain. It is very hard to hear traffic and see out my little spot of vision with rain spotted glasses.
We all have to learn, to ask for help when we need it. But first try to be independent to your abilities. If you are worried about me driving, I only do that in my dreams. But watch out if you are on the bike path behind my house, because I at times will ride my bike there.
I cannot forget to ask the Lord for help when I need it. We all need help from the Lord, even if you don't realize that fact. We seem to ask for help when we are in great times of troubles and need, like someone is dying or we are close to death ourselves. Check out the many Bible verses about asking God for help. I am a child of God, and when I ask Him for help He will answer. Just like when our children ask us for something. Sure they may not like our answer. But we have to trust in the Lord when we do not get the answer we were praying for. Example: Someone is ill with cancer and we pray for healing, and we think our prayers are not answered because they have died. Maybe the Lord did not want them to suffer. If they believed that Jesus Christ died on the cross for their sins, and He rose from the dead. They have been saved by grace through faith. Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, that no one can boast.” They are asleep with the Lord until His coming. My prayer is, Lord help me to ask first for help from You when I need it and when I don't realize that I need Your help.
My list of thanks: Friends and family who have helped me when I have asked or not asked and your encouragement. Katelyn for taking my hand and helping me cross the streets and parking lots. Easton for your words of encouragement. "Good job, Grandma." After I put a 32 piece puzzle together with a little help from him. Weston for being Weston the cute youngest. Jocelyn for being my cooking/kitchen helper. Thanks for helping clean up the bottle of cooking oil that I did not see on the counter and knocked over. Julie, Sean and Angie for the endless help you have given me. Pat for all your love, help and patience especially when I am trying to be independent. Thank you Lord for the many blessings that you have given me, and for your help even when I don't ask.
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