Two Years Ago

Two years ago today, I made the dreaded ER hospital visit and stay.  Why is it that when an event like that happens we do not forget the date?  Like 9-11 is set in my mind along with the rest of the USA.  9-11 was set in my mind before the attacks.  On 9-11-97 my dad and nephew Ross died.  I do have a little help in remembering 1-24, since it is the day after my daughter Julie’s birthday.

  Yes, the stroke did change my life plans.  I had to retire from a job that I loved and had planned on working for many years to come. I had to relearn a lot of things.  Many times I felt so stupid.  Like when a gal on the phone asked what my address was?  I could not remember, but I did some problem solving by looking at a piece of mail with my address on it.  Another time an insurance person asked for the last four numbers of my SS.  So I continued to problem solve, and asked Pat.  Just today I asked him how to spell two words, that I could not remember how to spell (independent and Offutt). Most of the time I use my I pad to spell words, when Pat is not around.  I also had to relearn how to sign my name.  I relearned it to a point that my signature card at the bank did not match. So I had to come in to redo it and show them a picture ID. 

 Don’t get me wrong as time passes by, I see God’s plan for my life.  He wanted me to retire and spend more time with Pat and the family.  My whole life was school and school events. That was one of the things that helped bring on the brain bleed.  It is called stress.  I thought I was dealing with the stress of job, but that day two years ago of dealing with student problems, staff problems, teaching classes, planning, IEP/transition meeting after school, and then a parent meeting at 7:00 PM for all SPED students planning to go to college and their parents.  I was busy that day making sure my speakers were still coming, what equipment they needed, and passwords to get into computers at Millard South. I was also dreading having to talk in front of a large group. Just thinking about that day brings up my stress level.  I did not make it to the 7:00 meeting, because the stroke happened after I had left the meeting at North High School.  My vision was not working right, the street signs had holes in them, and then the head pain came.  I only remember part of the drive home, and missed my two entrances into my neighbor.  I somehow made it home. I could not see the numbers on the phone, so I pressed the first number which was my brother-in-laws number.  He came over to take me to the ER.  No, I did not want to call 911.  I even thought about sleeping it off.  I would have never woken up.  It was a brain bleed/stroke that finally stopped bleeding after everyone began praying.  Thank you for your prayers that evening two years ago. 

Fast forward to the present, I think I am doing fine.  I still have a lot to relearn but I now know my address, SS number, and how to sign my name.  I have to dwell on the blessings.  I still am legally blind; I just had my yearly 3 and half hour eye doctor visit.  He did see some improvement from a year ago.  I told him what I was doing, healthy eating, exercise, retired from teaching, and brain exercises/relearning.  People would ask me if there was improvement in vision. I was not sure if I have just learned to use the little bit of vision on my left eye by scanning to get around. 

I am dependent upon Pat to get around.  He is my Seeing Eye husband.  I follow behind him when walking. When not doing that, he pulls me out of the way of people who are running into me.  Just don’t understand why people can’t move out of my way.  I do know why.  I should be using my white cane, and may one day return to the cane if Pat is not around.  

I do thank the Lord Jesus Christ for my blessings.  I have been able to spend more time with the grandkids.  Just last week I had them for the whole week.  We did homeschooling together.  That was so much fun, and work.  I was back to doing lesson plans, then changing the lesson plans when Joselyn would say, “Grandma I want to learn about…”  I have to stop and wonder was she avoiding the subject we were learning?  Katelyn loved everything we did.  We worked on compound words, and her list was very long.  The whole week she would stop and ask if … was a compound word?  If it was a compound word, she would write it down in her notebook.  The boys and girls loved the science things that I had saved like bird nest, rocks, huge pine cones, etc.  The girls read finger plays to the boys and did the actions.  I saved them since teaching preschool many years ago for some reason.  Then Joselyn wrote her own play for the kids to do.  I got to sit with the kids and snuggle together as they read their reading novels and as I read to them.

I love that the grandchildren are homeschooled.  We can all go on RV trips in fall. We did that the past two years to visit Angie in Washington DC.  I can travel with Pat in the spring and winter.  We are planning to be in Florida for spring baseball in March.  I am not planning to attend the games; he’ll have to go alone.

There are many more blessings, such as family and friends.  Other little blessings such as: not cutting the tip off my finger yesterday while peeling potatoes.  It only bleed for 30 min.  That was not a blindness accident.  I was rushing and not paying attention.  I have learned to slow down when working in the kitchen, cleaning house, or just walking.  This may seem strange but Facebook has been a way that I keep in touch with past students.  It is great to hear about how they have matured and are keeping a job.  I can keep in touch with staff and watch their children and grandchildren grow up.  Yes, I also love the videos that make me laugh and cry.  Yes, I enjoy reading blogs. 

I have more time to learn about the Scriptures and spend time in God’s Word.  Which reminds me that two years ago when in the hospital; I could not see a Bible to read but listened to my GO BIBLE that Pat had given me that Christmas. I remember thinking he should have saved his money, I did not need a Christmas gift.  I would turn it on and listen during those sleepless fearful nights.
 

  If you are going through a struggle, stress, health issue, disability, loss of a loved one, etc. try reading or listening to the Scriptures.  When listening I would hear about verses dealing with fear.  Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  

I still fall back into that fear mode at times, but have to pray and ask help from my Lord Jesus Christ to get through the event called LIFE.